12.01.2007

Change of season

I started this decade of my life newly changed of jobs and tentatively dipping my intellectual toes in the water of theological education. Today I ended it journeying to a workshop on contemplative prayer and pondering my still changing vocation. Who says God isn't surprising?

My spiritual director reminds me that my 40s is the time that I am supposed to process these questions. Who am I called to be? How does God work with me? But I didn't see it coming. I figured the path would keep going where it always had gone. I thought I would be more settled, not more restless. Who knew "A New Kind of Christian" could be more than a book title?

It's my last day of being 49, my daughter teases me. Sure, there's some regret at missed moments and lost opportunities…I'm human. Mostly it feels at this change of season like I'm getting where I'm supposed to be, maybe a little behind schedule. I didn't predict the twists and turns of these last years, but I wouldn't trade the growth and challenges. There are so many whose words, ideas and friendship have literally changed my life and helped me to move toward the person I was created to be. Too many to name, but you know who you are, and thank you.

If you follow my decrees and are careful to obey my commands, I will send you rain in its season, and the ground will yield its crops and the trees of the field their fruit. – Leviticus 26:3-4

In this season, God has sent rain and sun as they were needed, allowed me to lie fallow and produced some surprising growth. I can't wait to see what he provides in the next season.

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